The Four Horsemen: Why Gottman’s Method Works
The biggest predictor of divorce isn’t fighting — it’s contempt.
Most couples don’t understand why their relationship falls apart, even when they love each other. The Gottman Method identifies the four behaviors that destroy a relationship… and which one is the most lethal.
1.
The Four Horsemen
The four horsemen are:
- Criticism
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling
- Contempt (the most damaging)
2.
Why Contempt Is So Dangerous
Contempt is not a feeling.
It is a position of moral superiority.
It says, “I am better than you.”
When it appears, it destroys:
- Respect
- Equality
- Emotional security
Without these three, there is no functional relationship.
3.
How Gottman Repairs Relationships
The method works because it:
- Creates a language of emotional justice
- Teaches how to rebuild respect
- Identifies invisible dynamics
- Repairs disconnected love maps
4.
Who Benefits Most
- Couples with accumulated
resentment - Couples with power struggles
- Couples where “nothing changes”
- People who feel the relationship
is unfair
Ready to rebuild your relationship with fairness and emotional clarity?
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